Life Imitates The Simpsons

President Bush. A Simpson?

2005-06-22T14:06:00.000-04:00

The producers of The Simpsons have asked President Bush to appear on the show. Much to my surprise, he said, "No." Actually, it wasn't really a surprise.

"Groening says, "We've now asked every living president and they've all said no. In fact they all said, 'Hell no.'"

News Flash!

2005-06-08T11:00:00.000-04:00

Mark your calendars, the Simpsons movie should be out in about 2 years.

Oh, and the post that I made a few posts back about Nancy Cartwright (the voice of Bart Simpsons) being elected mayor of some California town, that was all a dirty, rotten lie. She was named 'Honorary Major' which means absolutely nothing.

Were out of beer, Beer Baron.

2005-05-24T13:28:00.000-04:00

Remember when alcohol became illegal in Springfield? Turns out a 200 year old law prohibited alcohol from coming into the town. Everyone agreed that the law was stupid.

Speaking of "stupid laws"... check out this website: www.dumblaws.com. I guarantee that it's extremely entertaining. It lists TONS of stupid laws, around the world and state-by-state. One of my favorites includes:

"Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down the street." San Francisco, CA

-- and this one from my home state...

"It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm." Stafford County, VA. Come on Stafford County... you're wastin' precious beatin' time!

Mayor Bart Simpson

2005-05-19T13:31:00.000-04:00

Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, has just been named the Mayor of Northridge in Los Angeles.

Sexy Slumber Party

2005-05-16T14:16:00.000-04:00

Want to view some of Springfield's sexiest moments? Well, what are you waiting for? Set your eyes on "stunned".

www.sexyslumberparty.com

Did Homer's brother Herb move to Japan?

2005-05-13T08:17:00.000-04:00

This was brought to my attention from an alert reader:

In Toyko, Japan there seems to be a gadget that promises to translate baby babbling. These are the same people that brought you the "Bowlingual" Dog Translator (which was for entertainment purposes only - FYI).

Sounds like a direct rip-off from The Simpsons... I think they need to sue the pants off of 'em. There are *some* differences. While Uncie Herb's device "measures the pitch, the frequency, and the urgency of a baby's cry..." the Japanese model monitors "the infants' cries, facial expressions and body temperature changes..."

I still don't see how this thing could work, since every child is different. Unless it's also for entertainment purposes.

Secrets of a Successful...

2005-05-06T08:51:00.000-04:00

Hey, if Homer Simpsons can teach a class on 'The Secrets of a Successful Marriage' why can't... prostitutes? Although, the class isn't on marriage... it's on 'The Secrets of a Successful Ho'. Is it really all that "secret" though?

Whore College, located in San Francisco, will teach you things like: effective marketing, stress reduction, legal issues and features "hands-on" training for a variety of "toys". If you stick out the class for an ENTIRE DAY you will receive your diploma in G.S.W (Graduates in Sex Work). Does it really make a bit of difference? Like a potential John is going to want to see some kind of proof that you are a "Certified Ho". I can see the her fumbling now, "Wait lemme get my credentials out of my g-string."

What's going on here?

2005-05-05T08:27:00.000-04:00

That Jagged Metal Krusty-O is sounding better and better.

In London, a boy found a 2-foot snake in his box of cereal. "It was quite long and popped its head up. I've seen snakes on TV before but never in a box of cereal," he told the Daily Mail newspaper.

This would make a funny Simpsons episode

2005-05-03T09:09:00.000-04:00

Jennifer Lopez wants to be first female US president

"The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House -- it doesn't look very cozy."

Another Jagged Metal Krusty-O

2005-05-03T08:59:00.000-04:00

Ok... I know I previously reported the story about the woman that found a finger in her bowl of Wendy's chili. If you don't already know, it was all a hoax. However, I think the following story is true.

In Wilmington, NC a man found a severed finger in his pint of custard. Turns out, an employee recent cut off his own finger when he had an accident with a food-processing machine.

"I thought it was candy because they put candy in your ice cream ... to make it a treat. So I said, 'OK, well, I'll just put it in my mouth and get the ice cream off of it and see what it is.'" He spit the object out, but still couldn't identify it. So he went to his kitchen, rinsed it off with water — and "just started screaming."

350th Episode

2005-04-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

Don't forget to catch the 350th episode of The Simpsons this Sunday (May 1st)... also, welcome-back to another one of my favorite cartoons - The Family Guy.

Poor Wiggum

2005-04-21T14:04:00.000-04:00

I've uncovered a real life Police Chief Wiggum in San Antionio, TX. As you know, Chief Wiggum doesn't use his gun in a safe manner... nor can get shoot very well (i.e., used his gun to crack open nuts and as a television remote).

Officer Craig Clancy (Clancy! HA! You can't make this stuff up!) went to use the bathroom at a San Antonio auto auction house, dropped his pants to "do his business" and his gun fell... firing a bullet into the floor tile, which then nicked the leg of a nearby man.

********************
She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it!

Pray for Mojo

2005-04-20T15:52:00.000-04:00

Apparently Homer Simpson isn't the only one seeking a helper monkey... the Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) Team in Mesa, Arizona are too! "The test monkey could be trained to unlock doors and search buildings for police on command..." Riiiight... unlock doors and such. Why do I get the feeling that the monkey will do "other" work for you such as:

The ol' Crayola Oblongata

2005-04-19T08:17:00.000-04:00

It may not be a crayon up it's nose, but this dog has had a rubber ducky in it's stomach for the last 5 years. BAD OWNER! Why didn't you take the dog to the vet sooner. Five years?!

Here's a pic of the ducky after it was expelled. I wonder if the dog made that squeaky noise when someone hugged him?

***********
"I am here to give hope to the least of you, because we all have a crayon up our nose. Maybe it's not a crayon made of wax. Maybe it's a crayon made of prejudice."

Fantasia Simpson

2005-04-13T13:26:00.000-04:00

For all of you Fantasia Barino (the last American Idol winner) fans out there... she will be guest starring on the Simpsons. She will be playing Clarissa and will be competing against Lisa Simpsons on an 'American Idol'-like competition. Here's the spoiler: Lisa Wins. Not sure when this is suppose to air. Stay tuned!

Planet Simpson

2005-04-13T09:22:00.000-04:00

Looking for a good Simpsons read? Try Planet Simpson: How a Cartoon Masterpiece Defined a Generation by Chris Turner. It explores the first 15 season and runs about 464 pages... so if you are lazy like me, try the audio version.

The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost

2005-04-13T09:15:00.000-04:00

This was the name of a Simpsons episode that was postponed due to the Pope's passing. It was due to be aired this past Sunday (in the U.S) but was canceled. Stay tuned... Liam Neeson is scheduled to play a priest.

So the hair is somehow controlling...

2005-04-05T14:53:00.000-04:00

A fellow blogger (Cynthia) was just telling me about an article that she read in People Magazine about organ donor receipients. How the receipients often assume the personality of the donor. Of course, this immediately sparked a Simpsons reference.

Remember in one of the Tree House of Horror episodes (I think there have been MXXXVII) when Homer received Snake's hair (and scalp!) in a hair transplant performed by Dr. Nick? As Homer slept, Snake's hair wormed its way into Homer's brain. Homer then went on this killing rampage.

One of the funniest things about that episode was Moe sitting at his kitchen table (or was it the bar?) eatting a bowl of Penicillin O's. Where is he getting these illnesses from? And what illness does he have exactly?

A new meaning for the phrase 'kissing cousins'

2005-03-29T21:55:00.000-05:00

Shelbyville isn't the only place where you can marry your cousins. Now, you can do it in Maryland... and apparently about half of the states in the U.S. allow first cousins to marry (26 to exact.. including my home state of VA).

"ALTOONA, Pa. - First cousins who were denied a marriage license by a Pennsylvania judge earlier this month were wed in a civil ceremony in Maryland, the couple said Monday."

I know what you are thinking - "Maybe they are cousins by marriage." Not so, their mothers are in fact... sisters. The groom says, "You can't control who you fall in love with"... uh, I think you CAN when your family is involved. Or at least I can.

Find out if your state allows cousins to be married... click here.

If you are interested in what the laws are for your state, check out www.stateline.org ... I'll be in the bathroom vomiting.

Shut the FOX Up!

2005-03-28T15:44:00.000-05:00

A lot of people (including The Simpsons) have made fun of Fox News... saying that it's not really "news" at all. If you feel the same way, you can now purchase a tiny metal device (that plugs into the back of your TV) to filter OUT the Fox "news" channel.

FoxBlocker

Free Inside! One Human Finger!

2005-03-24T08:51:00.000-05:00

We've all heard of cereal boxes having toys and prizes in them... or in the case of The Simpsons: KRUSTY O's - "Free Inside! One Jagged Metal Krusty-O!" (which Bart then ate). But, at least we are WARNED of potential prizes and such.

Not so, for a poor customer of Wendy's fast food "restaurant" in Sacromento, CA:

"The woman bit into a portion of a human finger while eating a bowl of chili Tuesday night at the San Jose restaurant, Santa Clara County health officials said Wednesday.... "She's doing OK. Initially she was a bit grossed out ... and vomited a number of times."

"Officials said the fingertip was approximately 1 3-8-inches long and a half-inch piece of fingernail was also found. They believe it belongs to a woman because of the long, manicured nail."

Michael and Bart sittin' in a tree...

2005-03-23T14:04:00.000-05:00

Remember when Michael Jackson guest starred on The Simpsons? He played a white dude in the looney bin named "Leon Kompowski". I came across this interesting article from Contact Music where creator Sam Simon revealed some interesting news about that episode.

"The eccentric THRILLER singer agreed to lend his voice to a mental patient in the popular TV animation, but threatened to pull out unless scriptwriters rewrote his cameo to allow him more quality time with Bart. However, Simon claims the most bizarre aspect of Jackson's behaviour occurred when he picked up a inanimate likeness of mischievous Bart - and kissed it.

He says, "During the voice recording, someone gave Jackson a giant Bart doll. When he thought no one was looking, Jackson started to kiss it."

MacHomer - Fine Theatre

2005-03-20T20:24:00.000-05:00

If you're into theatre AND The Simpsons, you should definitely check out "MacHomer"... a mixture of Shakespeare's MacBeth and The Simpsons. I guess it's sort of like the characters from The Simpsons doing MacBeth... which sounds hilarious. The website has various clips from the play.

Insane Simpsons Quiz

2005-03-09T11:02:00.000-05:00

Here's a quiz for you... 334 questions of pure Simpsons trivia. Be careful, three strikes and you're out. You can always re-take it and memorize the answers that you missed (like I did). I haven't been able to get through all of them yet.

Take the Quiz Here!

Who can take the trash out.... Stomp it down for you?

2005-03-04T08:51:00.000-05:00

"Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy-doo? The Garbage Man! Yes, the Garbage Man can..."

Apparently not. And are you surprised? People... if you don't have your trash out on the curb for pick-up, the Garbage Man will not wait for you... and there's no reason to get mad.

However, a family of four in Philly did get mad. They beat up the Garbage Man.

Tsk. Tsk.

Would Barney stoop this low?

2005-03-03T14:01:00.000-05:00

(03/01/05 - SHEBOYGAN, WI) — A woman accused of digging up and taking her boyfriend's cremated remains more than a decade ago -- and drinking the beer that was buried with them -- was sentenced to 60 days in jail.

Karen Stolzmann, 44, had faced up to nine months in jail on a misdemeanor charge of concealing stolen property. She was sentenced Monday, Sheboygan County District Attorney Joe DeCecco said. Hendrickson was 27 when he died in 1992 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. His relatives contacted authorities last fall after discovering his remains were stolen.
Beer and cigarettes buried with him also were missing.

Detectives searched Stolzmann's home, found her hiding in the shower and located the remains in her garage, authorities said.

George W. Bush?

2005-03-02T08:58:00.000-05:00

"Mrs. Krabapple and Principle Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

2005-02-24T14:54:00.000-05:00

ONE of my favorite characters on The Simpsons is the cat lady. In my opinion, I don't think that she gets enough air time and probably deserves an entire episode about her.

While perusing the web, I stumbled across this site that sells action figures. And they have... a crazy cat lady action figure - which happens to be sold out. Unfortunately, she doesn't look like The Simpsons character. Maybe if you color her with a yellow highlighter.

They have plenty of The Rock action figures, though. Probably, because it looks NOTHING like The Rock. (sigh) This action figure doesn't do the man justice.

Ooookay

2005-02-22T08:25:00.000-05:00

http://springfieldisforgayloversofmarriage.com/

And the gay Simpson's character is ...

2005-02-20T22:08:00.000-05:00

Patty. No surprise there. It wasn't even a surprise when HOMER found out. Marge was the only one that was shocked. Couldn't they have surprised us and went with another character?? Sheesh!

Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?

2005-02-17T12:19:00.000-05:00

A real life Bart Simpson was on the loose making prank phone calls. No, not to Moe's Tavern... but to 9-1-1. Apparently, he called 100s of times. What happened to the good 'ole days when you just prank called someone's house? Oh yeah, caller ID happened. 9-1-1 doesn't have caller ID?

************
"When I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!" - Moe

It's Almost Time....

2005-02-17T08:33:00.000-05:00

The Simpsons "coming out" episode will air this Sunday in the US. If you feel lucky, there's still time to place your bets at BetUs.com! I'm sticking to my guns and I'm going to say Lenny. It's clear that he is hopelessly in love with Carl.

Lenny: ".... (sigh) Carl Carlson....."

Mmmm... Urinal Fresh

2005-02-16T14:21:00.000-05:00

This has nothing to do with The Simpsons... however, I thought this quiz was kinda funny. It's a urinal quiz for men. I took it and missed 2 questions. I guess I don't know proper male urinal etiquette. Who knew there were "rules". I'm just glad that the ladies restrooms have doors.

Click here to take the quiz.

Happy Birthday Matt Groening

2005-02-15T11:17:00.000-05:00

All Hail President Kang!

2005-02-14T11:04:00.000-05:00

"My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."

Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain's Labour Party has decided to adopt Kang's famous slogan: Britain: Forward, not Back. Wonder why he left out the twirling part?

We Know All Your Secrets

2005-02-11T21:26:00.000-05:00

"And doctor, we know that you and the bootblack have been rogering the fishwife in the crumpetshop."

Got a secret to tell? Now, you can do so anonymously at www.postsecret.com. I think this is a great idea for a blog. If you don't have a desire to reveal anything, feel free to read someone else's secret.

Simpsons Secrets

"Constable Wiggum likes to act tough, but he also likes to walk the beat in control-top pantyhose."

"And, Schoolmistress Krabapple have been stealing supplies from the school cafeteria."

"And now we come to Mr. Homer Simpson. Did you know he likes to eat out of the Flanders' garbage?"

"And guess who's been practicing medicine without a license? That's right! Homer Simpson!"

An Amendment to Be

2005-02-11T08:04:00.000-05:00

Everybody sing!! (Click here for the MP3.)

I'm an amendment to be,
yes an amendment to be,
and I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me.

There's a lot of flag burners
who have got too much freedom.
I wanna make it legal for policemen to beat 'em,
cause there's limits to our liberties.
'Least I hope and pray that there are,
cause those liberal freaks go too far.

The Virginia House of Delegates is busy trying to pass all kinds of "crazy" laws - $50 fine for low-riding pants. If your underwear is showing, that's $50 bucks you'll have to shell out. But, wait... ONLY if your underwear is showing in a "lewd" and "indescent" manner. In that case... I'm safe.

*****
Edited Post:
I just saw in the news that this bill was killed by the VA Senate (unanimously) after this whole issue became "too embarrassing." Glad to hear that some people in our State Senate feel that their time should be focused on more important things.

Which Simpson's Character Are You?

2005-02-10T08:31:00.000-05:00

I got this idea from Cynthia's blog. If you are a Monty Python fan, she has a link to an entertaining quiz - "Which Monty Python Character Are You". I was "The Black Knight"... and since I've never seen a Monty Python movie, I have no idea what that means.

Anywho... there are several Simpsons quizzes out there and I just happened to pick this one. Surpringly, this is who I turned out to be:

I'm Moe, who are you? by Lexi

Good luck and no cheating!

BEST Website ever!

2005-02-09T09:27:00.000-05:00

The Comic Book Guy has a new website called Dorks Gone Wild. Some wallpaper images and a risque video of Homer.

Dr. Marvin Monroe?

2005-02-04T08:09:00.000-05:00

Duffman sez... Oooh YEAH!

2005-02-03T10:23:00.000-05:00

Who's ready to PARTY DOWN?!

Apparently, Tara Woodford of Australia is - with a cool 1,951 (U.S. $1,511). She successfully sold three cases of "Duff Beer" on Ebay to three separate buyers. Only problem... she didn't have any "Duff Beer" to give them. She won't be partying for long. She listed her real name and address on Ebay, so the bidders contacted the police when they didn't receive the beer. *Smart move there*

Surpringly, "Duff Beer" really did exist at some point. In the mid-1990s, two breweries in Australia released their own "Duff Beer". They couldn't continue making it because of the... you know, "legal issues." It's now a collector's item and a case can sell for about $774 (U.S.). I wonder how it tastes?

Simpson & Son Grease Co.

2005-02-02T09:26:00.000-05:00

Apparently, used grease IS worth money. Last year in Oklahoma, grease bandits got away with 2,268 kilograms of used cooking oil and grease from three restaurants (Mexican, Chinese and Steak). The heist totaled about $380. $380?! They put in a lot of planning, time and effort for $380.

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Homer: Used grease is worth money?! [gasps] Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold! I'm rich Apu! Rich, I ... aaggh! [clenches heart, then sighs] Money in the bank.

Mr. Burns?

2005-01-31T08:20:00.000-05:00

Springfield Tire Yard ... burning since 1966

2005-01-28T09:15:00.000-05:00

Be glad you don't live in Milford, Neb. And if you do, I'm very sorry. They've got a problem. A 2,000 ton pile of burning cow manure, problem. David Dickinson, who owns and manages Midwest Feeding Co has a big, steaming pile of "cow pies" measuring 100 feet long, 30 feet high and 50 feet wide that has been BURING for almost THREE MONTHS! No one knows how the fire started, either.

You're probably asking WHY they haven't extinguished it. Well, they've tried and tried... and tried and it's STILL burning.

I'd rather have the Springfield Tire Fire, thank you very much. Although, which is more toxic? Burning rubber or burning animal $h!t?

We put the 'spring' in Springfield

2005-01-27T11:50:00.000-05:00

Did your town have a cathouse, brothel, bordello AND a burlesque house (Maison Derriere?)? If so, you could be living in Gilbert, MN. The townspeople of Gilbert are celebrating their risque history with 'Gilbert Whorehouse Days'. This festival is a tribute to a time when Gilbert was known for gamblin', drinkin' and ... er, well... protestitutin' during Prohibition times.

There's at least ONE thing wrong with the title of the festival ... it doesn't include ANY of the activities listed above!! A group of townspeople (The Citizens' Committee on Moral Hygiene, perhaps?) showed up at the City Council meeting to protest. Not for the reasons that you think... no, they feel that the title has a negative connotation to it.

Perhaps, those in favor could sing them a nice song and overrule their moral values. It worked for Flanders and Rev. and Mrs. Lovejoy. After all, prostitutin' is as much a part of Gilbert, MN "as the church, the library or the crazy house."

***************************************
Founded by prostitutes in 1849, and serviced by prostitute express riders who could bring in a fresh prostitute from Saint Joe in three days; Bloodbath Gulch quickly became known as a place where a trail hand could spend a month's pay in three minutes.

Oh, no! In the eyes of God they'll be Flanderseseses!

2005-01-26T13:16:00.000-05:00

Beware of strangers promising gifts of pizza. According to Christianity Today, a church in Woburn, Massachusetts was under investigation after complaints that underaged children were being baptized without parental consent. Apparently, the kids went to the church because they were promised free pizza, prizes and games. They even baptized a Buddhist kid. Imagine the pastor's expression when he found out the kid was a Buddhist.

I think this quote from Flanders says it all:

Flanders: Reverend...emergency! I -- it's the Simpson kids -- eedily -- I, uh, baptism -- oodily -- uh -- doodily doodily!

Uh-oh, my heart stopped.... there is goes!

2005-01-24T08:18:00.000-05:00

A real life Barney Gumble has surfaced in Prague, Czech Republic. A 32-year-old Czech man purposely locked himself up in a pizzeria to have free access to beer overnight. As soon as the staff left, he broke into the cooling box containing a keg, disconnected the pipes leading to the tap and put them in his mouth and drank... and drank... and drank...

I'm guessing it looked a lot like this:

People think she's crazy... just because she has a few dozen cats.

2005-01-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

Does everyone know who the "Cat Lady" is? Every neighborhood has one. If you are having a difficult time trying to figure out who the cat lady is in your neighborhood... you probably ARE the "Cat Lady". (No offense to cats ladies around the world) In my neighborhood, she was known as "The Crazy Lady" and instead of cats... she had a BB Gun.

The Simpsons are no exception. They too, have a cat lady. Except she isn't as friendly to her wiskered friends as everyone would think. No, she uses them as weapons. In The Simpsons episode, Girly Edition [5F15] when Bart and Lisa become news anchors... Lisa speaks about a "Cat Lady" who is apparently crazy, but Lisa thinks not. As Lisa is speaking so endearing about the "Cat Lady", the "Cat Lady" comes out of the house, cats covering her body. She yells insanely at Lisa, runs at her, and throws cats at her.

Sadly, I have found a real life occurence of this type of cruelty. In PONTIAC, Mich. (AP) On Feb. 26, 2004, a deputy tried to stop G. Marinello (37) for running a stop sign. Marinello rammed the deputy's car and then got out of his vehicle, swinging his 6-pound leashed poodle around like some lasso. ("Get back! I have a poodle and I'm NOT afraid to use it!")

Did he REALLY think this technique would work. I mean, the police have guns!

If you are wondering about the poodle... she's fine. She was adopted by another family... and probably wearing a little doggie neck brace for whiplash.

The next time I get pulled over, maybe I should try using my goldfish in a blowdart gun.

... there's a party in my mouth and everybody's invited!

2005-01-21T20:10:00.000-05:00

Episode: [8F08] Have you ever wondered what a Flaming Moe tastes like? I know your mouth is watering in anticipation.

Here it is, courtesy of iDrink.com. Hmm, I wonder if I can get someone to make one for me.

Ingredients:
1.0 oz Blackberry Liqueur
1.0 oz Brandy
1.0 oz Peppermint Schnapps
1.0 oz Pineapple Juice
1.0 oz Sloe gin

Directions:
Blend alcohol, pineapple juce and banana in blender until banana is well blended and smooth then pour into glass add 1 oz. of cough syrup, light... then put out flame.

More rich creamery butter?!

2005-01-20T08:03:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know I appear to be focusing waaay too much on the creamery butter thing... BUT, I just HAD to mention this. In the same episode, Homer is watching yet ANOTHER commerical with the same soothing, sexy voice. She describes a new candybar: "We start with pure milk chocolate... Add a layer of farm-fresh honey... Then we sprinkle on four kinds of sugar... And dip it in rich, creamery butter..."

This episode immediately came to mind when I heard about the new drink from Starbucks called the Chantico (shan-TEE-ko), named for the Aztec goddess of the hearth. Have you heard of this? It's not hot chocolate. Hot chocolate's got NUTHIN' on this drink. The Chantico is made from cocoa powder, and steamed with cocoa BUTTER and whole milk!

Me being a choco-holic and all... I MUST try this thing. "Imagine drinking a melted truffle and you're close to the Chantico chocolate experience," said Michelle Gass, Starbuck's senior vice president of category management (i.e., I create drinks you CAN'T refuse!).... oooooh yeeaaaah.

He didn't give you gay, did he?

2005-01-19T08:10:00.000-05:00

Word on the street is that a character from The Simpsons will be "outed" in an upcoming episode. Any thoughts on who the gay Simpsons character is? If you feel lucky you can try your luck at several online casinos and betting sites like www.BetUS.com. I've heard that Patty is the likely choice, since she was identified due to a leak at Fox. Although... maybe that rumor was "planted." I'm going with Lenny. Don't you think that he has some kind of "unnatural" obession with Carl?

Odds: According to BetUs.com, Patty is the favorite at 4/5 with Smithers trailing at 4/1. The odds on Ned Flander is 15/1.

Oh, Daddy. It tastes like grandma!

2005-01-18T11:07:00.000-05:00

Episode: [AABF19] E-I-E-I (grunt): Have you seen this episode? When Homer decides to become a farmer and grows a very disgusting (yet addictive) item called "tomacco"... a cross between a tomato and tobacco. Good idea if you're kids aren't eating their vegetables (or is a tomato a fruit?). Marge finds relief as she says, "Well, I'm not crazy about the plutonium or nicotine, but it is very nice to see Bart eating his vegetables."

Well, look no further because it does exist! Rob Baur, a Simpsons fan from Lake Oswego, OR actually created tomacco! He even describes how you can make your own. Now, you too can enjoy the refreshing and smooth mentholated taste of tomacco on your salad... or try it alone as Fried Green Tomacco. Don't eat too much of this stuff, Nicotine is lethal in doses of 50 to 60 milligrams.

I warsh mah-self with a rag onna stick...

2005-01-17T15:19:00.000-05:00

Episode: [3F05] King-Size Homer. This is one of my favorite episodes... the one where Homer decides to gain weight so that he can be on workman's comp and work from home. Bart tells Lisa that when he grows up he "wants to be a lardo on workman's comp, just like Dad." Bart then imagines himself lying in a bed, really fat and talking to the media ... he tells them (in a southern accent), "I warsh mah-self with a rag onna stick."

One day while at work (can you tell that I am very busy?), I came across this website that actually sells RAGS ON A STICK. They also sell a variety of reaching brooms that Homer used.

What a load of rich creamery butter!

2005-01-16T20:19:00.000-05:00

Episode: [8F22] Bart's Friend Falls in Love. In this episode, Homer is watching a commercial for a new hamburger. The voice-over on the tv, describes it in a very soothing, sexy voice: "We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger."

Exhibit A: Hardee's created a new burger called "The Monster Thickburger". Looks like a walking heart attack, don't you think? Homer would love it! I think the white substance under the bun isn't mayo, but... a fried egg.

Coincidence? or ... something else?